The primary difference between bereaved adults and children is that intense emotional and behavioral expressions are not continuous in children. A child's grief may appear more intermittent and brief than that of an adult, but, in fact, it usually lasts longer. The work of mourning in childhood may need to be addressed again and again in appropriate ways at different developmental levels. As the surviving child grows he or she will revisit the loss repeatedly, especially during significant life events (e.g., going to camp, graduation from school, marriage, the birth of his or her own children). This can be explained by the fact that the child's capacity to experience intense emotions is considered to be limited.[1,2]

Several factors can influence a child's grief, including: the child's age, personality, stage of development, previous experiences with death, prior relationship with the deceased, the environment, the cause of death, patterns of interaction and communication within the family, stability of family life after the loss, how the child's needs for sustained care are met, availability of opportunities to share and express feelings and memories, parental styles of coping with stress, and the availability of consistent relationships with other adults.[1-3]

Children do not react to loss in the same ways as adults. Grieving children may not display their feelings as openly as adults. Grieving children may not withdraw into preoccupation with thoughts of the deceased person; they often immerse themselves in activities (i.e., they may be sad one minute and then playing outside with friends the next). Often families incorrectly interpret this behavior to mean the child "doesn't really understand" or has already "gotten over" the death. Neither is true; children's minds protect them from thoughts and feelings that are too powerful. Children's grieving episodes are shortened because they cannot rationally explore all their thoughts and feelings as adults can. Additionally, children often have difficulty articulating their feelings about grief. A grieving child's behavior may "speak" louder than any words he or she could speak. Strong feelings of anger and fears of abandonment or death may be evident in the behaviors of grieving children. Children often play death games as a way of working out their feelings and anxieties in a relatively safe setting. These games are familiar to the children and provide safe opportunities to express their feelings.[1]

References:

1.Corr CA, Nabe CM, Corr DM: Death and Dying, Life and Living. 2nd
ed., Pacific Grove: Brooks/Cole
Publishing Company, 1997.
2.Fitzgerald H: The Grieving Child: A Parent's Guide. New York:
Fireside, 1992.
3.DeSpelder LA, Strickland AL: The Last Dance: Encountering Death and
Dying. 2nd ed., Palo Alto:
Mayfield Publishing Company, 1987.