Facilitator, Medford, MA

My name is Lynne Barberian. I have been married to my wonderful husband Frank since 1994. We live in Medford, Massachusetts. Our first child Rachel was born and died on March 22, 2000. We had been trying to get pregnant for quite some time so during my pregnancy I always thought of her as my miracle baby.

A few weeks after Rachel’s birth and death I called my local city hall to get a birth certificate. I was told that I would not get one because she was stillborn. I was only able to get a "Report of Fetal Death". I was devastated. I felt like I was being told that Rachel was not born. This set me back in my grieving. I gave birth! How could her birth not be acknowledged????

Throughout those hazy first months, I somehow stumbled accross the MISS website. It quickly became a place for me to find both comfort and valuable information. I ordered "Dear Cheyenne" and read it in one sitting. From that day on, Joanne has been my mentor. She inspired and guided me to lead the way for Massachusetts to be the 4th state to pass the MISSing Angels Bill (November 2002). Parents of stillborns are now eligible to receive a "Certificate of Birth, Resulting in Stillbirth."

On May 15, 2001, my son John was born. My pregnancy was healthy but not a happy one. I was so scared and felt like I had been robbed of what a pregnancy should be. My son is the love of my life. He brings me so much joy but most importantly he taught me that EVERY baby is a miracle baby. He has taught me to find joy in watching dump trucks in action... and looking at the moon... and picking up a leaf... and walking up the stairs.

And the struggle continues... on September 2, 2002, I had a miscarriage at 11 weeks. The loss was upsetting but I think the lack of validation from others is what hurts the most for me.

In my spare time (ha ha!) I like to write, scrapbook, crotchet, needlepoint and listen to music. I also co-founded the Greater Boston Chapter of Project Linus which donates handmade blankets to children in need of comfort.

Rachel’s birth and death has shaken me to the core. I am a different person now. I am sure some of you can relate. My feeling is that I have to channel all the sadness, anger, love, loss, longing, etc. into something positive. That is how the Massachusetts chapter of MISS came to be. I am here to share my experiences and help others on their journey.

lynne@missfoundation.org